Approaching the end of this year, I think about the word closure and reflect upon the many ways in which we seek closure. Unfortunately, I’m thinking that we look for closure for negative or unsavory events more than positive ones. This seems to be true especially with respect to relationships.
In my experience, I have found the need to terminate romantic relationships more by action than inaction. But I don’t think that this is true of many of us. How many times have you waited for a phone call (yes, our cell phones do make calls), email, text or face-to-face visit that doesn’t materialize? While I think of many of these as gutless, I also conclude that many people just don’t have the ability to close relationships or romances.
We find the imperative to reach closure while on the road. People cut other people off and wind up being run off the road. Worse yet, we hear of participants getting out of their cars and having some form of battle. From my standpoint, the best form of closure is seeing an offending vehicle pulled over by a local police officer.
My suggestion to you is that the end of the year is an ideal time for closure. If that type of resolution is not what you seek, find another way to seal interactions with others. If I think of all the people I’ve known professionally and personally, I remember many of their names but it was the lack of good-bye or best of luck that finalized relationships.
True friends don’t need formal closure. I do believe, however, that we can all do a better job of maintaining the relationships that matter without trusting to the other person to perpetuate communication. In three cases, I maintain important connections with those whom I met within business situations. But many, regrettably, have been lost to the past for their lack of responding to my invitations to maintain contact.
Valuable people are worth keeping without waiting for them to extend themselves. Take the moment to send a note or create a meeting of some kind. Closures belong at the end of a fiscal year, not in terms of people. Resolutions, while popular at this time of year, are generally a waste of time and if we treat people with casual interaction, these are the resources that can never be re-established. And to all of my readers near and far, I wish the happiest, healthiest and most prosperous of new year. Shalom.