Difficult though it may be for me to acknowledge, it appears that I’ve lost a friend. This is someone who has been in my world for approximately ten years and losing him is an experience that I am having difficulty understanding and explaining.
In other times, I would hear from this friend every several weeks or at a minimum, once per month. His absence is now almost two months in duration, without explanation or apparent cause.
Because of my views about friendship, I have emailed and called him, with no response. His family has also been part of my world. Consequently, I’ve texted one of his daughters who has also failed to answer me.
Our last contact had no conflict or problems that would explain a lack of communication. To exacerbate the loss, there were neither holiday wishes for Thanksgiving nor an invitation to his annual holiday gathering.
My view of life dictates that I have a lesson to learn or a reality to be gained from this situation. One consequence is to be a better friend to all those who are truly friends. There is no such thing as telling these people too often how important they are to me.
Another reaction is to evaluate my liaisons to see whether there are signs of weakness or dissension. Is it possible that I failed to keep promises, didn’t maintain sufficient contact or fell short on taking actions that needed to be taken?
Eventually, I suspect that I will understand this loss – it may be a busy schedule, illness, family emergency or other situation that I can’t identify. No matter the reason, I will always wish him and his family well, cherishing the many happy memories. The greatest challenge will always be in not knowing why. In the meantime, I have the incentive to value the friends who are present and constant, express my feelings for them and make certain that I remind them of their value. Shalom.